New Hampshire Mountain Mommy

#Homeschoollife, Week 2

September 7, 2022

Well, we kind of crash-landed in week 2. I was exhausted and underprepared, having just raced the Overland and dealing with the mixed emotions of this year’s event. It made me a less energetic educator and a much less patient mom!

Nevertheless, we made it through. Theo continued working through his unit on community, talking about how we use money for wants and needs. I set up a little “store” in the school room… Guess what he went for first???

Learning about money and budgeting! If only iPhones were really a onetime cost of $20.13…

In response to my store, Charles set up his own, much cooler store selling amplifiers and band gear in their bedroom.

Inspired by a trip with Uncle Jordan earlier this summer!

Math included a review of comparing numbers. So far, Theo hasn’t met anything in his math work that’s been too challenging for him, but I’m enjoying a different approach and think it’s really rounding out their understanding. Because they’re both bright, they don’t tend to need endless repetition to understand a concept, but I like that they get to come at each lesson from several angles.

We also started our spelling work. The boys are so different about spelling. They’re both diligent when we’re working specifically on spelling, and they both remember phonetic “rules” for regular words, but Theo is much more likely to remember/use correct spelling once he’s used a word. Charles opts for the fastest option, regardless of whether he could spell it correctly — if he’s able to edit later, he catches and corrects his mistakes himself. I just can’t figure out what the block is on spelling correctly the first time!!! In any case, Theo is a lot more patient with the process, and I was pleased he didn’t fight me on our “rainbow copying” work!

Crazy to think he was just learning to write letters two years ago!!!

Theo has been pretty bummed that his curriculum so far hasn’t included any science [it’s coming!!!], so he’s joined us in Charles’s plants & soil unit. On Tuesday, we learned about plant reproduction and dissected some flowers. “Embryo” turned out to be a challenging word to say, but we loved learning about seeds and seed formation, and comparing the different flowers from the garden.

Snapdragon with its inner workings exposed.

Charles made a video talking about the parts of a Lima bean seed:

We also made maple bars while working through some assignments about “Sugar Snow” from Little House in the Big Woods. It’s been a trip down memory lane for me to reread this alongside Charles, and to think about the differences in how he experiences it and how I did as a child. [Stay tuned for a Little House post… I’m reading The Birchbark House alongside it and think they should be read in tandem!]

While we were waiting for them to bake, Charles did some research on bears, and dictated an acrostic poem!

On Friday, Dad was home and we took a family mountain bike ride. Charles had grown so much since this summer that his feet touched his handlebars!!! It was beautiful riding weather, and the boys got to try out their new water bottle holders from Class 4 Designs. Instant hit!

It was a great end to a long week.

I’ll leave you all with this video that sums up Theo’s work…..and the general level of enthusiasm in our house!!!

· Cycling, Homeschool, Kids

Last Week in #homeschoollife…

August 30, 2022

We started our ’22-’23 school year! It was a taper week for me before the Vermont Overland, so I had a little bit of brainspace to devote to school. I wasn’t quite prepared for the amount of hands-on learning we’d be doing, but the kids were delighted, and starting a new routine has been a great reset for us all.

Charles’s first unit this year is Interdependence. Last week, we studied soil:

What is it made out of?

How much water does each type of material hold?

Soil Water Retention Experiment!

What combinations of soil components help plants grow the best?

We also started a soil ecosystem — this morning, we can really see how the roots are growing!

Clover coming in quickly!

After studying soil, we moved on to plants. Many of the experiments were repeats of things we did at the end of our plant unit last year, which saved me some work. Charles did make a super fun mobile of plant parts — as usual, there was a whole story to go along with it, all about a squirrel stealing nuts from the plant!

I especially like the camouflaged caterpillar, and the hungry bird beak!

This year’s Language Arts and History has a *lot* more reading and writing. Charles finally came up against vocabulary words he didn’t know, which gave us an opportunity to practice the dictionary skills we were working on last spring.

One thing I really like about Moving Beyond the Page so far is the way it incorporates technology. Before he started reading Little House in the Big Woods, we did a little bit of internet research on Wisconsin. It wasn’t a long time on the iPad, but it gave him a chance to do some independent internet work, which I haven’t been sure how to incorporate into our curriculum before.

Working hard, enjoying learning about Wisconsin!

Math picked up right where we left off, even though we are using a new curriculum. We had fun with some hands on activities building and manipulating 4-digit numbers:

Working independently has always been a strong suit for this kid!

Theo’s year kicked off with a unit on Community. We talked about important places and people in a community, and the kids really enjoyed building their own community map:

Then, we talked about wants and needs, and how these are met within a community. Theo’s answers made me laugh!!!

I also want to lift a tree!

We’re working hard with Theo to get him comfortable writing; he’s very worried about spelling things right, so I’m doing a lot of cheerleading about sounding things out and not worrying about perfection. We talked last night about how the only place we worry about correct spelling is when we’re working specifically ON spelling. It’s hard for kids who like to be “right” all the time!

Theo’s math curriculum started with some lessons on patterns. It was nice to have both boys working on this — it reinforced the skip-counting skill that feeds into multiplication, which Charles’s previous math curriculum (and me…whoops) didn’t focus on particularly well.

The online number chart is a lot faster to use than coloring in a number grid!

I showed Charles how to use a ruler to make straight lines on his maps, and he took off. I have loved, this week, that the boys have participated in each other’s work. They’re both so creative in different ways; their end results are always richer when they’ve collaborated. That said, Theo and I got to curl up and read together — he read aloud to me! — and Charles and I had some side-by-side drawing time; those one-on-one times are important, too!!

This week, we add soccer into our mix, and then piano. Karate is a constant, but I’ve had to shuffle the schedule. We’ll see how all of us absorb the increase in activities! I’m glad we jumped into the school year on a week we didn’t have other demands on our time.

· Uncategorized

Homeschool Begins

August 24, 2022

Year #3 of our homeschooling project started this week. The kids were complaining constantly of “boredom,” I was going stir crazy and needed some organization in our day, our sitter was off to college…. Getting going seemed like the best way to combat all these things.

We are using Moving Beyond the Page for the first time this year. We’ve loved Bookshark for the past two years, but wanted to mix things up and try something new. So far (2 days in), it’s been a smashing success. The kids love how much hands-on there is; I love how much discussion we have; and the activities are things the kids and I might have done organically before, but having a structure so I’m not doing last-minute web searches for good projects is a blessing for us all.

I’m hoping, this year, to use the blog to do more in-depth recaps of our “This Week in #homeschoollife” Instagram posts. They’re important because they remind me, when I’m feeling bedraggled and exhausted at the end of the week — but unsure what learning actually took place — that we’re making forward progress, and that this crazy experiment is working, worthwhile, and FUN!

As we’re plunging headfirst into [cool, refreshing?] Homeschool ’22-’23, I just want to list some things that I try to keep at the top of my brain to make it through our weeks intact.

(1) I AM AN ADULT AND THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. I read this years ago in some book about parenting toddlers, and I repeat it at least ten times a day when I am losing my ish, worrying about ER visits and wondering if my kids are actually sociopaths.

(2) If we don’t finish all the projects/lessons today, there is always tomorrow. I am incredibly type A. I like to check all the boxes and get all the things done. I don’t (as an adult) enjoy procrastination, last minute changes, or “flexible schedules.” I want to get it DONE when it is SCHEDULED. But the truth is, we are not on a 180-day school schedule, and if we need to speed up or slow down or skip a project or spend some extra time talking about a concept, it’s OK. That’s a benefit of homeschooling. Teachers in public/private school have days they don’t make it through their lesson plans, too.

(3) Teaching is part of parenting, and I am my child’s natural teacher. The kids’ preschool teacher gave me this pep-talk in the middle of a grocery store when I was going into our second year of homeschooling and no longer had the, “We’re just homeschooling because of COVID” fallback to catch me or anyone else. They are learning just by being with me and doing things day-to-day. They know how to schedule and budget, how to read a map and road signs, how to meal plan (and cook some things!). Fractions come pretty easily to Charles not just because he’s good at math, but because he’s measured things with me his whole life. (In fact, this week, he decided on measurements for a science experiment, measured them out himself, and set the whole thing up independently of me.)

(4) Did I mention that I AM AN ADULT AND THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY? If some dirt gets spilled, someone colors outside the line, or we get sidetracked using unit blocks to build patterns / castles / jewelry for our stuffed animals… it’s ok. Deep breath. Because there is always tomorrow. And those unit blocks are at least easier to see on the carpet than Legos.

(5) We need to sit and read together. It’s been how we calmed down since Charles was 3 months old. Theo’s 2nd day of school was 1000% more successful than the first because we snuggled on the couch with a Richard Scarry book to kick off our discussion of People in the Community.

(6) Challenge builds character, problem solving, and intellect. Sure, it was nice that Charles could do all his work independently last year; that he read all his assigned reading in twenty minutes at the beginning of the week; and that I didn’t have to listen to him moan about writing in a journal. But now he gets to learn how to look up vocabulary and read critically.

(7) Structure and schoolwork feed our creative brains. The kids have been a flurry of activity these past two days: inventing new games, discovering new ways to add to their ubiquitous stop-motion-animation; helping each other with their work and chores. They’ve both written newspapers and drawn maps outside of school time. They’re engaging ME in their imaginative play. I feel like we’ve done more in the past two days than the entire summer… even though we did SO MUCH this summer!!!

So cheers to this school year! We’re going to make it through today, and tomorrow, and then I’m going to focus on my race for a few days, and then we’re going to start soccer! And piano lessons! And we’re going to… NOT PANIC because we are ADULTS and this is NOT AN EMERGENCY!!!!

· Homeschool, Kids

Death by Berry Containers

May 14, 2019

Two days ago, I wrote a post about how much I looooooved our Lenten discipline of reducing our household waste. There is a secret pile of plastic hanging out in my garage that I don’t know what to do about...

Maybe my kids are an anomaly, but they love their berries. Blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, and especially raspberries, which they like to stick on their fingertips (of course) and suck off slurpily. We do our best to eat seasonally, but, honestly, I have a hard time giving up berries. And cucumbers and green vegetables. We live in New Hampshire. At a certain point, we cut our losses and are thankful for refrigerated shipping containers.

But do you know what berries come in? Those annoying little plastic containers. I’ve tried to cut our waste by only buying the BIG little plastic containers, but basically, strawberries and blueberries are the only things that come packaged larger-than-pint-sized. This makes sense — any more than that in a raspberry container, and we’d have smashed and moldy berries. Nevertheless, this has been the plastic habit we can’t kick.

Even worse, it’s the plastic habit we can’t recycle.

Our town recycling facility accepts five kinds of plastic: pete no. 1 plastic beverage bottles; no. 2 milk jugs; no. 2 mixed household plastic; assorted large household plastics (toys, flowerpots, etc); and no. 5 plastic, which is collected in a “secret” bin beside the trash chute. Don’t try to sneak any no. 1 plastic that’s not a capped bottle: the ladies who keep our waste facilities running have to wade waist-deep through the piles of people’s less-than-clean recycling in order to weed out the recycling that doesn’t belong. And then it gets tossed.

Those little berry containers? They’re no. 1 plastic, but they’re not beverage bottles. So I’ve been collecting ours, hoping to find a way to recycle them. I have a 13 gallon trash bag filled with them. Every so often the bag tips over and spills what feels like a guilty secret onto the cool floor of the garage. It’s overflowing, at this point, and I don’t know what to do with it.

Is there a better way to do this?

Should I petition my town to accept more kinds of recycling at their facility? I am assuming that they don’t because of the cost, but maybe it’s just because people don’t ask for it. [Yesterday, the girl giving me a pedicure disclosed that she had just started recycling, in her mid-20s… It hadn’t occurred to me that maybe people just don’t recycle? Maybe it never occurred to anyone that they needed to recycle those berry containers?]

Should I sneak my berry containers slowly in to my sister-in-law’s recycling bin? — her town does no-sort recycling pick-up. [But what happens at their facility? Are there theoretically recyclable objects that they also have to throw in the trash because they’re not equipped to process them?]

Should I try to figure out a better way to package berries for mass distribution — compostable plastic? Wood baskets for short-distance transport? I can’t possibly be the first person who’s asked this.

Should I just cry, and stop buying berries, and listen to the wails of my children as we trudge past the beautiful displays of bite-sized fruit? My dear children, who have already given up drinkable yogurt, packaged granola bars, more than one box of snack crackers a week, and store-bought bread? My poor children, whose mother asks them, when they ask for milk that comes in plastic containers, “Do you want a duck to get its head stuck in this plastic ring? Are you trying to kill the turtles?” [Thank you, National Geographic Kids, for your well-photographed article on 6 ways our trash is bad for animals who live near or in water… ]

“No, Mommy. I don’t want to hurt the ducks. I can have some jar-milk from the farm instead.”

I don’t want to make them give up their raspberry fingers! What can I do???!

· Food/Cooking, Kids, Uncategorized

Reduce, Reuse…

May 10, 2019

…Attempt to Recycle. Or, Our Lenten Adventure in Reducing Plastic Dependence

This post has been weighing on me heavily for some time. I haven’t been sure how to approach it – should I make a list of all the ways we tried to reduce our plastic consumption over Lent 2019? Should I do a How To? Should I just rant about the state of the world? What would be most useful?

When we started our Lenten discipline this year, I wanted to do something that would help focus our whole family. Focus is hard for 3 and 5 year old boys, and so is waiting. So, also, is giving things up. In the end, I figured out what we would do in a single moment in the grocery store: watching a woman unload her cart in front of me with her vegetables in neat little reusable mesh bags.

“Those look cool,” I said. “Where did you find them?”

“Oh, I can’t even remember any more!” she replied. “But I use them all the time! I can wash them in the washing machine and the mesh is fine enough for bulk items!”

I can do that. That’s one small way I can reduce our impact. We buy a lot of produce! We could reduce our plastic use for Lent!

I was so excited that I got on Amazon as soon as we got home. That was when I found out it was going to be harder than just buying a few bags. People take their natural living very seriously. On the bags that looked most useful for our family (they could double as wetbags for stinky bike clothes or long underwear post-skiing! and hold our broccoli during grocery trips!), reviewers criticized that the bags weren’t made of sustainable materials, were shipped with too much plastic, had plastic pulls, etc. Buy sustainable fair-trade cotton biodegradable bags! they advised. So I looked those up. At five or six times as expensive as the other bags, their mesh was also either nonexistent (so you couldn’t see through the bags, which I felt would be a huge hindrance in the checkout line) or so big I was afraid anything smaller than an apple would fall through. More expensive and less useful. I ordered my planet-killing polyester bags.

I’d love it if my story ended here, but it doesn’t. After I decided we’d stop using the plastic produce bags at the store, I decided we should probably stop using plastic lunch bags, too, because those are fairly easy to avoid AND I found some pretty cute reusable sandwich bags. Then I found BeesWrap, which I love because it smells good and functions much like plastic wrap. It’s also very expensive, so we have….three. But they are in constant use!

These were all easy changes to make. They were all instagram-friendly. The kids were excited to have new stuff. The velcro on the sandwich and snack bags was easier for them to unseal and reseal than Ziplock baggies. It felt like everyone was winning! Except… these were all additions. I didn’t feel like we’d really given up anything — we’d just added some new things to our lives. Adding is easier than taking away.

There was still SO MUCH PLASTIC in our lives. Well-meaning friends saw my lovely instagram posts and sent me links to articles about going plastic free, which sounded super amazing. I’d feel good about myself and save the planet! But the truth is, I didn’t want to throw out all my plastic (doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of going plastic free — creating less waste?); I didn’t want to feed my family on dried legumes and produce that was in season in New Hampshire in February. To buy meat, you have to buy in plastic. To buy produce – sometimes to buy the only palatable produce – you have to buy in plastic occasionally. I didn’t want my kids to hate food.

So, here is where we came down on it, it in the end: we reduce where we can, reasonably. During the summer, we will use our reusable bags to collect produce from the CSA; during the winter, we buy what we can at the farmer’s market and do our best with what we can find at the grocery store. We buy our milk locally, in glass jars that are reused. We buy in bulk when it’s possible (and I do have two organic sustainable cotton bulk bags for this purpose specifically) and in recyclable containers when possible, but sometimes it’s not possible, and I have to put things in my cart and shut my inner critical self up a little.

Things that come in plastic that I’m not willing to give up include Greek yogurt, frozen fruit, berries, and meat. Where we can’t avoid plastic packaging, I try to buy the largest size possible, so that we’re at least reducing our overall waste. I’ve also started re-using single-use plastic. It makes me feel like my parents, penny-pinching, but there’s no reason to throw plastic containers into the recycling bin immediately. Many large plastic bags can be washed, dried, and reused – I still use ziplock for the bread we make, because I freeze one loaf to reheat halfway through the week, but I’ve been using the same bag for three months! Turning single-use plastic products into multi-use items might be the biggest shift in thinking I’ve had over the past few months — but it’s also, absolutely, the easiest place to start.

The kids made three huge sacrifices that I only occasionally buy for them now: drinkable yogurts (in those awful packets or in the recyclable bottles, because don’t get me started on the problems in the plastic recycling stream), packaged bread products (we make two loaves of soft honey wheat bread at home every week now), and granola bars. At first, I tried to make granola bars. After I became the only one who ate the homemade bars, I stopped making such a huge effort, and instead focused on reducing the amount we bought (each boy picks one box of snack and one box of granola/fruit bars a week from the store). I’m clearly not “hardcore” into reducing our waste. I’m more interested in staying sane and getting SOME fiber and probiotics into my children.

And, in all honesty, these small steps have noticeably cut down on our waste. We throw away less plastic, but we also just throw away less. Fewer wrappers, fewer food scraps. Picking plastic as a focus got us focused on reducing our all-around waste. I’m even more deliberate about my grocery shopping and cooking now. I put the kids’ uneaten crackers back in the box and they don’t notice. [Don’t tell them!] We’ve gotten to talk to our children about where garbage goes, and where recycling goes, and about what it means to take care of the world around us.

We had a real, whole-family, Lenten discipline. It focused us on God, and on all the gifts we’ve been given in this beautiful world. It gave us a way to take some small care of these gifts, to be grateful, to think about what was important to each of us. I don’t have Instagram-worthy shelves, but I’m happy to know that I’m throwing away less and enjoying more.

· Uncategorized

Extremely Customizable Homemade Granola Bars

March 27, 2019

Kid tested recipe!

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Dry Ingredients

  • 2c rolled oats, ground to your desired thickness (leave as is -> quick oat size -> oat flour, depending on your taste)
  • 1/2-1tsp salt
  • 1/4-1/2c sugar
  • dash cinnamon
  • 2-3 c additions — ie: nuts, chopped or whole; dried fruit (we like diced dried apricots and dried cherries and blueberries); shredded coconut; sesame seeds; chia seeds; mini choc chips; etc…

Wet Ingredients

  • 1/3c peanut, almond, or sunflower seed butter
  • 6tbsp melted butter or oil
  • 1/4c honey (adjust depending on how much sugar you used/taste!)
  • 1/4c warm water

Directions

  1. Assemble and mix together dry ingredients.
  2. Assemble and whisk together wet ingredients.
  3. Mix everything together. If too dry, add water 1tbsp at a time. If too wet, add more oat flour.
  4. Spread and press into a well-greased pan. I use a 13×9 brownie pan for thin, or 9×9 for thick.
  5. Bake 20-40minutes (until brown) at 350F.
  6. (Optional, but a nice touch): Drizzle with melted choc chips!
  7. Cut while warm! Remove from pan. They get less crumbly as they cool

ENJOY!!!

· Food/Cooking, Kids

I’m a Not-Fun Boss-Mom

March 27, 2019

Before he even had a real violin!

It started with a huge family fight, and the huge family fight started with violin practice, which actually had been going well until my 5-year-old started “deep breathing” because he was frustrated — and blew his deep breaths in my face, along with some spit. I went upstairs and punched some pillows and yelled in frustration and wondered, Why isn’t this easier? What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t violin fun? Why does my son have to struggle witheverything?

I have big feelings. My oldest son has big feelings. My younger son, it turns out, also has big feelings – he’s just generally slower to wind up (but also wind down) than the rest of us. I’ve worked really hard to arm us all with coping techniques. I’ve read Raising Your Spirited Child cover to cover – twice, and I pull it out at least once a week for reference. [It changed my life and my way of interacting with and viewing my oldest, but that’s a story for a different post.] We’ve read picture books about feelings; I’ve talked feelings into the ground; we talk about our fights; we read this really great book, My Many-Colored Breath, and learned how to breathe out some of our emotion to calm our nervous system.

But that day – that practice – I couldn’t do it, and neither could he. His “calm breaths” were spit colored, and so was my face. He was mad, and frustrated, and I was the target because I was standing in front of him. I should have calmly put the violin away, and walked away, but I didn’t, and there we were, and then we were screaming, all of us, at each other. And in the midst of all this anger and frustration, my son was yelling, “BUT I WANT TO PRACTICE, MOMMY!!!!”

So that night, I pulled out my teacher-training notes. I pored over them, hoping they’d have some practice-saving technique that I was overlooking. I didn’t want to bother my son’s violin teacher again – I felt like we’ve been the Needy Family in terms of emotional management this year. I made a plan so that “this would never happen again.” The next day, we implemented Mommy’s Super Fun Extra Exciting Practice Is Amazing plan. We made it through the rest of the week. Problem solved?

Not really.

I was exhausted, and you know what? My son still got frustrated. We were working on focus, and on setting his posture up BEFORE he started playing, and all of these things, for my bright, quick, often anxious child, take a tediously long time. I can’t make them take shorter than the amount of time they take. He often makes them take longer, getting distracted by lines on the wall and thoughts in his head.

After his lesson that week – at which I shared NONE of our struggles with his teacher, because I thought they were over and was trying to be self-reliant – I was in the pediatrician’s office and saw this Parents magazine cover that made me just absolutely livid. It was a smiling, airbrushed, vaguely mixed-race mom with her mixed-race kids (my kids are mixed too!) and the headline was, “How to be a (Fun) Mom Boss! The Gentle Way to Raise a Respectful Child.” Oh my gosh, I thought. F*** you. Everything in life does not have to be fun. Sometimes things are a big struggle and I didn’t have time to blow-dry AND put on makeup AND pack lunches AND PRACTICE GENTLE PARENTING. I HATE GENTLE PARENTING ADVICE. WHOSE CHILDREN ARE REASONABLE ENOUGH/WHO IS CALM ENOUGH AND HAS ENOUGH SLEEP THAT THEY NEVER YELL. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I want to be very clear here. I am not advocating yelling as a parenting tool. I am just being practical about this. I am not the only parent who cannot at all times remain calm and address my child like they are a tiny adult. My children are not actually tiny adults. My children sometimes hate wearing shoes and still have to wear them because we live in New Hampshire and it’s not summer all the time. No amount of gentle cajoling, storytelling, distraction, and Fun Mom Bossing are going to get the shoe situation to be palatable for them. Sometimes we are late because someone had to poop at the last minute and PUT THE SHOES ON NOW! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE ABOUT IT!

What I mean is this:

Part of the problem with our violin practice is that I thought it always had to be fun. My parents pushed me very hard – and I pushed myself quite hard as well – and I had a pretty fickle relationship with my own mother and practice; my memories of early practice include throwing my violin at her and screaming and clenching my bow hand into a monster claw. [I also remember picking my belly-button in my teacher’s studio.] My big goal was that I wouldn’t have expectations of my son, and I’d just let violin be a fun collaborative thing we did together. You know, every day. Fun, every day. With a preschooler. Totally reasonable, right?

It’s not always fun.

It’s not supposed to be fun all the time.

We need to stop pretending, for our kids, and for ourselves, that everything is supposed to be fun and make them happy. This realization was huge for me that week, and if it’s not a huge realization for you, I’m jealous.

I was working so hard to make everything about violin fun. I felt like a parental failure every time he came up against something difficult and got frustrated. In fact, I was so wrapped up in feeling like a failure that I forgot to notice when he moved through the difficulty and came out the other side successfully. My desperate need for him to be unfailingly happy was making it impossible for me to see that our difficult practices were building his resilience, his ability to face a challenge, and his faith in our relationship and my love for him.

When I let go of needing it to be fun, a huge wave of relief washed over me. With permission to have a frustrating practice, I could empathize with his frustration and we could move through it together, instead of me standing on the outside battling it for him, which didn’t help him [he still felt frustrated] or me [I felt like a failure]. We have had some all-fun practices and some challenging, frustrating practices since then, but I don’t dread telling him it’s time to practice, for the first time in a while. I’m trying with all my might to lean into the hard times.

This past weekend was our big solo recital. “I’m not nervous, Mom,” my son reassured me. “I did this last year, and last year I was only four!” He got up on that big stage, and he owned it. He embodied focus. He took all the time he needed to set up his violin and bowhold. He waited through the introduction. He played wonderfully. And at the end, he made direct eye contact with me and smiled. He knew he’d done a good job. Not because every practice was easy, but because he’d done things that had once been hard for him, well.

So this is my pledge to stop trying to make everything fun. Yes, we’ll play games and be silly in practice. Yes, I’ll say ridiculous things like, “Let’s amputate your arm!!!” when my kids get scrapes, because it makes them laugh and move on from their injury. But I’m also going to let them know that things are hard and things hurt. I’m going to stop trying to make everything easy. It’s okay for it to be hard. It’s okay to be frustrated. That’s how they grow. That’s how they build resilience. That’s how we grow and build resilience as parents.

Some things that used to be hard for Charles — that he now rocks, with the occasional awful day:

Skiing. No kids had fun posing for this photo. But there is no whining allowed on the ski slopes!
Riding a pedal bike / being nice to his brother 😉
Following Lego directions! It takes SO LONG to build a Porsche!

· Kids

Thursday Up & Down with the Kids

January 7, 2019

HAPPY KIDS ON SKIS

The close of cycling season still has me bummed, but we’re starting to get outside skiing, and it’s boosting my energy. As 2019 opens, I’m resolving to adventure outside more with the kids – I have a habit of keeping them inside while I do housework or run errands, using cold weather as an excuse not to play. As part of this new resolution, I decided that I was going to attempt a solo trip to Pats Peak with them last week.

Last year, Charles and I had a regular Wednesday morning ski date; he’d go down and have a lesson while I skied, and then we’d get hot chocolate and lunch together. I didn’t trust myself enough to take him out on my own. This year, with his preschool schedule and our other activities, Thursdays are our “free” day. Since conditions were good – temps in the 30s but a good base at the mountain! – it seemed like the perfect day. Daddy was working late; we needed some fresh air and time together to keep our day from falling apart.

Both kids were surprisingly helpful getting geared up. We found them their own little boots at the S&W ski swap this fall, and they’ve proven invaluable (even if the buckles on Theo’s boots are a bit worn and tend to pop loose occasionally). Charles has super narrow feet and is generally skinny and small; his Dalbello narrow boots are perfect for holding him in place. It’s a relief after having to stuff him into three or four layers of socks the past two years to keep rental boots on him!

Once we finally got out, we had fun. SO much fun. Charles showed off his turns [He suddenly turns! After spending all of last season resisting and snowplowing!] around some sweet foam animal guides, and Theo was brave enough to hold my ski pole. We did a couple of runs on the little bunny hill like this, and then we all got extra brave. Theo decided he’d like to shuffle his own way onto the magic carpet, and Charles started going faster – still keeping his skis parallel!

Four beautiful, amazing things happened in the two hours that we skied that little hill together:

  1. Charles figured out how to get himself up. We have been working on this hard – it’s been holding him back in his lessons and in skiing with us. It’s very frustrating for him to try to coordinate his thoughts with his body, and it’s very frustrating for me to watch him flail and whine, so it was a huge success for both of us that we could stay calm enough to talk through getting both skis going the same direction, pointing them at the side of the hill, and then pushing up on the bottom ski to stand. His pride in himself was worth the frustration and patience!
  2. Theo skied solo! This required…
  3. Mommy skiing backwards. This is something that I’ve known I need to do but have been terrified to try, especially when I’m out by myself. But I did it! I did it, and I was able to turn with him, and catch him when he got going fast. However, he did ask me to turn around at one point – “Mommy, you go to slow back. Let me hold your hand. I want to go fast!”
  4. We had SO MUCH FUN OUTSIDE TOGETHER. It was thrilling to cheer each other on, giggle, dance on the magic carpet, and then go in for chocolate milk and hamburgers. I can’t wait for our next Mommy Ski Date.
Let’s do it again, Mommy!

· Kids, Skiing

Ski Season Begins!

December 23, 2018

I think it’s time for me to face that our biking season is over. Ski season has begun! This past week we took our kids up to Stowe for a couple of days of skiing. Our ski season usually starts in January, but all of the mountains around us opened close to Thanksgiving this year! Hooray for snow!

I didn’t learn to ski until I was 26, and then I promptly tore my ACL (on a flat, in powder) and got pregnant, so I really didn’t learn to ski until I was 30 and had had two kids and an ACL repair.  Last winter, I finally got brave enough to take myself out and work on things. I find skiing terrifying. I grew up in the midwest, where things are very, very, very flat, and people are cautious… so plummeting down a hill – nay, a mountain – at top speeds seems awfully foolish. Both of my kids ski (more or less), and my husband loves it, so it’s worth it to me to put in the effort so I’m not left behind sipping burnt coffee in the lodge, watching everyone else have fun. 

Two winters ago, I had an almost 1-year-old and was desperately out of shape. I went up the magic carpet on a bunny hill, got vertigo, couldn’t face my fear of getting hurt again, took off my skis, and walked down. After a very cautious lesson on said bunny hill, I decided to practice by myself. I fell, and without the core strength to pull myself back up to standing, cried, took off my skis, and walked down the damn hill. Again. That’s largely how the season went. I think I might have snowplowed down a couple of greens, a couple of times, but I’ve blocked a lot of the memories. It was a lot of getting over my desperate fear of tearing my ACL a second time. 

Last winter, both kids had skis and boots. It was looking like Charles was going to be coordinated enough to ski, so I decided to kick it into gear. We had started biking a little, but more importantly, I had completed 5 months of Beachbody workouts by the time ski season rolled around. I was leaner, and much stronger. I trusted my legs and my core strength again. So I took a lot of lessons, and I went out by myself to Pat’s Peak – our home mountain – on mornings when I had a sitter for the kids. 

I skiied greens! I learned to get out of my wedge turns and keep my skis parallel! We took some trips up to Cannon mountain and I started to learn how to edge! Importantly, we took our SONS skiing, and I was able to help Charles up when he fell on a Blue trail – a trail I would have been terrified to ski the season before. I took Theo – then a very whiny 2 – skiing, and managed him between my skis and also beside me, holding onto a pole. We rode a chairlift together. I had the strength to help my children. Nothing could make me happier. We could be outside together in the winter — and all have a good time. 

I can’t wait to see what this season will bring! New boots, I hope, and a better understanding of how to use my skis as tools to get me around the mountains!

· Kids, Skiing, Uncategorized

Old bike, New tricks

December 5, 2018

Now that cold weather has moved in to stay for a few months here in the Northeast, I’ve moved my training inside. I still got a few delightful rides in late fall, and our season was gloriously extended with an awesome Trek Travel trip to Provence, but I’m feeling the need to hibernate now! Today I’ll talk briefly about my gravel/trainer bike and spin routine.

First, the bike: I ride an old Trek 1000 SL aluminum frame bike indoors. We bought it used specifically to throw on our Wahoo Kickr Snap trainer because we didn’t want to stress the frame of my carbon road bike. It was atrocious to ride with a cranky triple chainwheel and jumpy rear cassette; on the trainer, it rode only slightly better than on the road, where the chain frequently derailed and almost never shifted smoothly, if it stayed on at all. For some reason that still confounds me, this terrible bicycle’s previous owner rode it in a triathlon.

There she is, in all her original awfulness. At least the seat is comfortable? 

My compassionate husband brought the bike to Tooky Wheelworks, where we took off the gosh-awful drivetrain and set the bike up with an elliptical chainring in the front and bigger cassette in the back (with the idea that during warmer weather I’d be able to haul my toddlers behind it in the Burley; we weren’t going for speed as much as power). He also wrapped my handlebars in some KILLER orange tape – I couldn’t ask for my training bike to look more awesome! But because the bike’s speed with the new gearing maxed out at around 18mph, it was still frustrating to free-ride on the trainer; even inside, I couldn’t build much momentum, so last winter I pretty much exclusively rode with Zwift’s training programs so that I didn’t have to touch the shifters; the trainer adjusts resistance under my back wheel for me.

This summer, we went back to Tooky Wheelworks for another complete overhaul; I wanted a gravel bike, and the aluminum frame seemed like the way to go for a couple of reasons.  First, I really disliked the chatter through my carbon frame road bike when we were on gravel, and the skid of the skinny back wheel. Second, the kids didn’t tolerate the Burley at all, and I was frustrated with the useless low speed of the Trek. Back to the shop! Now she has a sweet crankset and completely new rear cassette and derailleur. Her bottom-of-the-line Shimano shifters got an upgrade, and new wheels (with knobby tire in the back!) carried her over gravel like a dream. After a near-crash experience with the awful caliper brakes, we replaced them, too.

First spin with the new drivetrain!

Now that I like the drivetrain on my bike, it’s changed my indoor riding, too. I can free-ride on the Zwift app and shift smoothly; I don’t *have* to follow a training program. For the first few indoor rides of this fall, I did just that, exploring Zwift’s new New York scenery and enjoying powering through climbs, thrilled with the differentials on my bike. But the grind of indoor riding – being stuck in one place is hard on the hips and the mind – has gotten to me, and I need to start an actual training program so I actually have a goal. Between now and Christmas, I’m working through the FTP booster; two weeks of a nasty upper respiratory virus have left me weak, and I need to get my cardio endurance back up and running.

So I’ll pose the question to you: what would you do next? We are toying with the idea of doing some cross country mountain bike races  next fall, but that’s still a long way off. I’d like to hit spring ready to climb and stronger than I left fall (avg pwr on smooth road rides around 135w). With other workouts, yoga, skiing, kids, and cooking on my plate, I reasonably have time to ride 3-4x a week for 1-1 1/2h if I’m really dedicated.

What shall we do next, my friend?

· Uncategorized

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